We all make plans we don't stick to and make resolutions we don't keep. It's easy to think big - but even easier to act small. Why do we do this? Why do we sabotage our dreams and fail to reach our goals? And what can we do to ensure we end up living the life of our dreams?

YOU-Q is a concept that I have developed out of my experiences as a practicing psychologist, as well as my travels around the world. YOU-Q is about living life to its full potential and finding your Inner Winner.

While it encapsulates emotional, spiritual and intellectual intelligence, YOU-Q is also so much more. It is about Getting Real – the importance of knowing and staying true to your value, purpose and vision. It’s about Changing Your Head Talk – how to silence the unhelpful messages we give ourselves and change our negative self-beliefs. And it’s about learning how to Relate well to others.

This refers to the way in which you relate to others. By learning essential communication and interpersonal skills, you will radically enhance your relationships with others. 

To help you do this you can:

• Develop your interpersonal skills with the help of a specialist coach.
• Learn how to become more assertive (and less aggressive) - consider attending an Assertiveness Course / Read about Assertiveness.
• Learn counselling skills and apply them to your everyday life - take a Basic Counselling Skills Course.
• Learn to be a good conversationalist - see The Art of Conversation (Talk / Article).

Head Talk is that inner voice which constantly gives us negative messages.  Changing your Head Talk means changing these negative beliefs and transforming the unhelpful messages you give yourself into positive messages. 

To help you do this you can:

• Notice your conscious beliefs that stop you achieving your dreams, and create new beliefs that allow you to achieve them.
• Write a list of affirmations and read them every day.
  
• Seek help from a psychologist to make your unconscious beliefs conscious, so you can work with them. 

This involves becoming authentic, genuine and totally true to you. To achieve this requires answering three important questions - What are my values? What is my purpose? What is my vision? 

To help you do this you can: 

• Spend time and effort getting to know your own personal values and creating your own personal vision.
• Choose your own purpose.
• Create a vision board that comes from your own inner being (not society's impositions).
• Seek the help of a coach to help you find your values, vision and purpose.