Based on decisions made in infancy, we assume one of four basic psychological life positions, which to a large extent determines our pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaving. The challenge is to become aware of our life position and if necessary, create a healthy alternative.
The four life positions were developed by Frank Ernst into the well-known OK Corral shown in this poster.
Read Transactional Analysis – Part III (The Scripts We Follow) for details of the four life positions.
While working on privately owned yachts in the South of France, I spent some time in Nice and paid a visit to the magnificent Monastery of Cimiez. The monastery has been used by the Franciscan monks since the 16th century and includes a church, a cemetery, a convent, beautiful gardens and sweeping views across Nice.
The beautiful church boasts three major works by Italian medieval artist Ludovico Brea and a monumental altar-piece of hand-carved wood decorated with gold-leaf. The convent houses the Musée Franciscain which is decorated with 17th century frescoes, and displays more than 300 documents and works of art from the 15th to 18th centuries. Buried in the cemetery are the painters Henri Matisse and Raoul Dufy, plus the winner of the 1937 Nobel Prize for Literature, Roger Martin du Gard, as well as many notables of the Grand Italian Families laid to rest in exquisitely designed mausoleums. The remarkable garden surrounding the building is the former vegetable garden of the monks. It is now used as a garden of exceptional floral decoration.
What struck me about this awe-inspiring place is how so many disciplines - religion, art, history, literature and gardening - are brought together. The place is truly steeped in culture and inspires visitors deeply with unforgettable memories and emotion. I feel richer for having visited. The lesson here is to remember that our true wealth is not measured by the money in our bank accounts, but by the beauty and inspiration we experience in art, religion, history, literature and nature.
The lesson here is to remember that our true wealth is not measured by the money in our bank accounts, but by the beauty and inspiration we experience in art, religion, history, literature and nature.
This article is one of a three-part series on Transactional Analysis. This article follows on from the article "Transactional Analysis – Part I (The Masks we Wear)" and comes before Transactional Analysis - Part III (The Scripts we Follow). What follows in this article (Part II) is an outline of two more key concepts in Transactional Analysis – Strokes and Games.
If you look up the word ‘freedom’ in a dictionary you will see that it is a noun and has two definitions:
The Mandela Capture Site is situated in the KwaZulu-Natal Midlands, South Africa. It marks the place where Nelson Mandela was captured, at a roadblock, by the police on 5 August 1962, after being on the run from the South African Government for 17 months. There is a remarkable sculpture and a small (sadly unremarkable) museum to be found there. What really caught my interest were postcards and magnets depicting a thought-provoking quote by Nelson Mandela:
“For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”
The life lesson here is an obvious one. If we truly want freedom then we must respect others. Instead of shouting others down or intimidating them if they dare speak up against us, we need to allow them to have their own ideas and opinions. We don’t have to agree with them, but we must show tolerance and respect towards them.
Some years ago I visited Oudtshoorn, a region in South Africa well known for its ostrich farming. I had a tour of a farm, as well as a ride on an ostrich – a most interesting experience! I also learnt some fascinating facts about ostriches. What struck me most was that while ostriches are not the most intelligent bird on this planet (an ostrich's brain is smaller than its eye and would hardly fill a tablespoon!), they have adapted so well that they have been on earth between 70 and 120 million years. Their lifespan is 50 – 75 years, which is an amazing age for a bird! In Mesopotamia and Egypt ostriches have inspired cultures and civilizations for 5000 years, which is more than can be said for most other living creatures!
The lesson here is that success need not be about intellectual capacity or intelligence, but rather about getting on with the job. Too often we measure success by degrees, diplomas and certificates, rather than by the ability to adapt to what's needed and getting on with doing it!
This article is one of a three-part series on Transactional Analysis. It is followed by the articles “Transactional Analysis – Part II (The Games we Play)” and Transactional Analysis - Part III (The Scripts we Follow).
Transactional Analysis (or TA as it is often called) is an interpersonal relations approach developed during the 1960s by Dr Eric Berne. It is underpinned by the philosophy that:
Transactional Analysis is based on two notions: That we have three sides or 'ego-states' to our 'personality (Parent, Adult and Child), and that these ego states converse with one another in 'transactions' both internally and externally with other people (hence the name).
While exploring the province of Andalucia in Spain, I saw numerous massive silhouette 'billboards' of an enormous black bull. They were so quintessentially Spanish, that I found myself quite charmed by the sight. The bull billboards are a superb image and branding campaign because although Spain has so much more to offer – food (paella & tapas), drink (sangria, sherry & wine), flamenco music and dance, and the artists Picasso and Dali – when one thinks of Spain one invariably thinks first and foremost of bull fighting.
The life lesson here is to recognize the importance of branding and image. Whether or not it is your intention, everything you do, wear or say projects an image of you. Ask yourself, "When other people think of me what comes to mind first?" Then make sure it is the thing you want people to be thinking!
While travelling in America with a friend, we decided to visit Los Angeles. We took a Greyhound bus from San Diego and on arrival in Los Angeles the plan was to be picked up by mini-van and taken to the accommodation where we would be staying.
The mini-van was unavailable and we were advised by a local to walk to a bus stop a couple of blocks away and catch another bus. As we walked out of the Greyhound station an LAPD police car pulled up in front of us and two huge policemen jumped out and asked us where we were going - it was like something out of a Hollywood movie! The policemen were horrified that we were going to be walking around in a dangerous area and they told us that my friend, being a white male, would have made it only half a block before being murdered and that I would have made it one block before being raped and then murdered! They were totally serious. The policemen kindly drove us in their patrol car across town to a safer area to catch our bus. We finally arrived safely at our destination, but I was very shaken by the experience.
The lesson I learnt is that we are ultimately responsible for our own safety. It is up to us to make sure of this and not put all our trust in other people or we may find ourselves in trouble. We must know where we are and what we are about –We can never be complacent about our personal safety.
While travelling through New York State, a friend and I spent some time in New York City, where we went to see Miss Saigon showing on Broadway. It was a superb show but also very emotional, so after the performance we decided we would walk for a bit before catching a taxi to take us ‘home’. We walked quite a long way thinking that it would have the double benefit of not only allowing us time to get our emotions in check, but also save us on taxi fare. Finally, we hailed a taxi - only to discover that we had been walking in the wrong direction and had in fact increased our taxi journey substantially!
The lesson I learnt was a worthwhile one – To get ahead you need to move in the right direction!
