While I was travelling in America, I decided to take a ferry trip from Seattle to Victoria, the capital city of British Columbia, Canada located on the southern tip of Vancouver Island. Victoria is one of the oldest cities in the Pacific Northwest and has retained a large number of its historic buildings. Because my trip was only to be an overnight stay I did as much as I could that first day and made sure that I saw one of its most famous landmarks – the British Columbia Parliament Building. I was duly impressed with the beautiful architecture.

However, that evening I was introduced to a handsome, young local man. We had a drink together and started chatting when he told me that at night the outline of the building is lit up by 3,500 energy efficient light bulbs. He then insisted on taking me in his car to see the sight. What a magnificent spectacle it was! The young man was clearly very proud of his city and happy to show me the sights, but I am sure he had no idea the impact his kindness would have on me, as many years later I still have the vision of that lit building clearly imprinted on my mind and feel again the joy I felt when I actually saw it.

The lesson here is that you never know how much of an impact a seemingly small act of kindness on your part, can have on someone else.

While on my working holiday in America, I spent a couple of weeks travelling in a back-packers adventure bus known as 'The Green Tortoise'. My travelling companions were a mixed bag of people of all types and nationalities. One of the young men, Dave, although nice enough, was the sort of guy who just blends into a crowd. He had no special qualities to make him stand out. That was, until we went to a nightclub in Utah which was hosting a Karaoke evening. Towards the end of the evening, Dave quietly got up and made his way to the stage where he proceeded to give the most perfect rendition of Elvis Presley's 'Suspicious Minds' that I have ever heard. Everyone was in awe of his incredible talent and he immediately gained a celebrity status within the group. Now years later, Dave is one of the few characters from that trip that stands out for me.

The lesson here is that people are always more complex than they appear on the surface. Look deeper and discover their special qualities or talents. It certainly will make life more interesting and exciting

While visiting Jerez, in southern Spain, I decided to take a tour of its biggest winery, Bodega Tio Pepe, famous for its sherry production. While on the tour we were told all about the history of sherry production in the region, shown all the major cellars of the bodega and given tiny glasses of sherry to taste. I remember it being a most interesting tour at the time, but all the facts and statistics have long since been forgotten.

What I have not forgotten, however, is the delightful story we were told about a little mouse who would visit the cellars in the quiet of the evening. The mouse would scramble up to drink the last drops of sherry still in the taps just after the wine-maker had done his tasting. Of course getting up to the taps was a struggle for the little mouse, and the wine-maker took pity on it. There in the middle of the huge cellar was a tiny barrel with a tiny ladder leaning against it – for mouse to climb up. Each evening a small glass of sherry and a piece of cheese is placed on top. I am not sure that the story is true, but it was a moving story and the story-teller created just enough doubt in our minds that we could believe it if we wanted to.

The life lesson here is that facts and statistics are easily forgotten, but a simple heart-warming story can be remembered forever. As we go through life we must not just concentrate on the facts and routines of daily life, but rather try to do something special for others that will create never-to-be-forgotten stories. 

Arizona in the south-west region of the USA has a stark beauty punctuated with an assortment of cacti. While driving through, it was at the back of my mind that the area was home to a variety of scorpions and rattlesnakes among other creatures. We decided to stop and pop into one of the stores along the way, which was filled with lots of fun stuff and touristy curiosities. Some buff-coloured envelopes which were marked in capital letters – ‘DANGER: RATTLESNAKE EGGS’ caught my eye. I opened one to peek inside and got the fright of my life! It vibrated in my hands and made a whirring noise… just like the sound of a rattle snake! I nearly dropped it! What a laugh, it was a trick! An elastic band had been twisted around a metal disc. Hysterical!

The life lesson here is that expectations ‘set you up’. I was ‘primed’ for rattle snakes with all their potential danger, so when I heard a rattle it resulted in me having the fright of my life.
It’s important to set up the right expectations – first impressions count - so pay attention to your appearance, the way you treat others and the manner in which you behave. Are they congruent with the expectation you want people to have of you?

Whether you are at a formal function or an informal gathering you will be called upon to make conversation with others. Mastering this skill - either one-on-one or conversations in small groups - is thus an important life skill as it will give you the confidence you need to handle both business and social events.

This practical course covers the fundamentals of conversation such as how to start a conversation with someone you don’t know; effective introductions to ease the way for others; how to be interesting rather than boring and how to include everyone in the conversation. We also touch on non-verbal (body) language.

(Presented as part of my How to Stand up for Yourself course & To Thine own self be True - the Confident You! talk)

Assertiveness is about having clear, honest and respectful relationships with others. Part of this is knowing your Basic Rights and standing up for them.

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A surprisingly large number of people do not know how to accept a compliment. They have a mind-set that says something like, “I cannot possibly deserve positive feedback - anyone who pays me a compliment must be misguided, lying or feeling sorry for me”. But, is this really true? Of course not! You not only have the right to accept compliments and feel good about yourself, but also the responsibility to accept a compliment that someone is giving you, graciously.

Article as it appeared in O - The Oprah Magazine. By Kim Garner

Kim Garner asked three experts for quick, empowered responses to the most uncomfortable age-related questions.

While backpacking through America I spent some time in New York City. This is where I had a delightful encounter with a tramp which I shall never forget.

He came up to me begging for a quarter. By that time in my travels I was fed-up with being accosted by tramps asking for money. I reluctantly handed over a quarter, while at the same time engaging him in a discussion about why I needed the money more than he did. To my surprise he listened to my story, then handed my money back, saying he agreed with me, I needed the money more than he did. With smiles and cheers we went our separate ways. I was so amazed that he took the time to listen and respond in such an unexpected manner.

The life lesson here is that if you are genuine and share your truth, people will open their hearts in return.